Friday, August 31, 2007

We are having some *^#%_)_ again!

I know y'all gonna ask me what's new! Alam ko!

I wanted to share my fortune or should I say misfortune? Eto ang chika...

A little craziness is just what you need -- and it'll give your relationship a boost, too. Be your wildest, most uninhibited self. The resulting shake-up will rattle any remaining doldrums in your life.

-Tama ba nababasa ko? Inuulol ba ako ng hulang ito? Craziness is what I needed? Eh kulang na lang magsaksakan kami at patayin ang isat'isa! Is that what you call a little craziness? I dunno what I really want as of now... Should I go or should I stay... Litong-lito na ako. Hindi ko na kilala ang sarili ko. Hindi ko malaman kung ano talaga ang gusto ko. Nahawa na po ako ng pagka-bipolar.

I feel angry, embarrassed and ashamed at times. Am I to be considered an in denial battered woman? I have experienced alot of abuse, really. But I managed to stay alive and fight it. Quitters are losers and I'm no quitter.

I may not have any black eyes and or broken bones. However, domestic abuse encompasses a whole range of ways of controlling and hurting. My stupid mistake is thinking the one who hurt me most, won't hurt me again... Words sometimes can hurt more than a punch. Words penetrate your very being, have the ability to make or break your day. Words hurt the spirit and bruise the heart, some "internal' bruises stay with you a life time. - NOooo she didn't call me the N word thou. LOL. - Kaya nga I really need to talk and see my councilor no... Ano ba tong nararamdaman ko? Is it love or lust?

I have traveled a road going far too down and deep... I should have looked first before I took this road.

I have lost my self-esteem. For me this is very important. The most important possession a person has is their self-esteem. Self-esteem can move mountains and maybe, just maybe change your fortune too...

It's not about complaining, blaming or even pointing fingers... I guess "Life is all about turning lemons into lemonade".

2 comments:

ros said...

STAY or LEAVE???

diwata said...

stay daw eh! yon ang laman ng bayong STAY!