Saturday, September 1, 2007

We have been arguing for the past 2 or 3 days about a small thing, a very small thing that grew bigger and deeper. So we were shouting and yelling at each other on the phone and she txted me something that I don't like. (Ayaw ko ng minumura ako, nanliit ako sa sarili ko.) I should just leave it like that, and took it as a closure, but I didn't... Gumanti ako the next day... Pinagmumura ko din sya, bawat sentence may F word. Lahat ng sama ng loob ko at nasa kaloob-looban ko sinabi ko. I couldn't imagine myself doing that specially to people who are dear to me. (I have this attitude na I have to get even. Paramdam ko din sayo kung anong nararamdaman ko. Mali ako. Dapat pinalagpas ko na lang.) Now I really feel guilty. Do I have to really feel guilty about it? Hindi ako papatalo kahit pa gaano na ako nasasaktan.

Earlier as soon as I woke up... I txted her that I felt her somewhere in my bed I thought she was there sleeping with me. (Guni-guni ko lang pala.) I went downstairs and head outside for a smoke.
I saw a bag full of things that I gave her. Everything was there even the tiniest smallest thing that I have given her. It hurts me. But I can't to anything I know her... That's her personality.

-aktuali akong laging nakikipaghiwalay eh.

I checked out the bag and there was a letter...

I'm sorry that I made it end like this. You said you know everythings. But you know what? Just only one thing that you never known. It's how exactly I feel? No one know except me...

I was so happy being with you, spend time with you that I never had in my life, Even we will not together anymore. Please... know thise...

***Mahal mahal den kita***

and you will be in my heart until end of my life. I wish... I could be with you for real until the day I will not be able to breath. But... it will never happened.

I still don't know, what I did? But if you believe in what you believe, I have nothing to say anymore. I never thought my wonderful dream would end up like this and this quick. I know we can't be together but I still want to stay in this dream. But finally it is just a dream... again.

Thank you so much for every wonderful things and great time that you gave it to me and sorry to waste your time with bad girl... like me. I will never right for you, you right. But you know what? How hurt it is, if you found someone who you want to be with in the rest of your life but... You can't be with her? I knew it already. But you might not believe me anymorw.

Finally if you don't want to see me. I will never see you and bothered you anymore, don't worried about it. But please... Let me keep you and everythings that we did in the bottom of my heart and I hope you will find someone right for you and at least... She loves you as much as I did...

Take care... Goodbye... I love you... Diwatangbyaning


This letter I wrote for last time that we were fighting. But I didn't give it to you.
I think finally I get to give to you this time.
I'll not hate you but I will not love you anymorw.
I'll keep everythings good that we did together.
But I can't forget every words that you said to me.
Thanks... for giving me that wonderful moment.


Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.


pazing said...

ganyan ang masakit na hiwalayan, yong binabalik lahat ng bagay na binigay mo sa kanya. tsk.

pag mainit na ulo ng isa, dapat cool ang isa *nagsalita ang magaling hehe*

pazing said...

ikaw ba yong naggigitara don sa vid?